i am Jiaming and 22years old . Happily attached to Alvin Thew
we all are something
but yet none of us are everything.
Friday, September 08, 2006
7th september 2006
i dun deny that i am still feeling down to this day...but there is nothing i can do to change the fate of it...i only can accept it and take it and keep it inside my heart...
i am sorry to cause u so much problem...
mayb one day i will let go..but till now i still haven...
perhaps nv will i ...i dunno how to face it bravely yet...
but i dare not tell u anymore..
worry it will bring u more trouble and and u having to worry abt me..
i not trying to blog here to tell u things..i dunno u got read anot? but i dare not confide to anyone...
anyway..i hope anyone who wants to help me pls dun interfere with or try to help me with how to deal with it...and also don't find him to tell him things to hurt him pls...
though he may seem to be very strong but at times pple have the weakness side....
PLS DONT EVER HARM /HURT HIM! NEVER EVER! if anyone ever try to do it..i will nv trust anyone anymore...i dont want to hurt him...he is still precious to mi... pls forgive me...
more abt my day today...
today i wake up super early!!! remind my friends to wake me up..call me to remind me...haha
but thanks ah...i woke up myself ..but yet still very sleepy...yawning!!
i really so upset 2 weeks ago on this same thurs that i woke up past 9 plus !! i got so upset with myself for reminding others that lesson is at 9 while i tot was at 11 and i still think 9 am onli can still slp..until i saw my friends msg that ask me go sch first cos she will be late , she send that msg at 835am..i saw it at 9 20am!! OMG!! i quickly jumped out of my bed and rushed and rushed get ready and set off to sch...but to realise i reach the gate of the sch along the way i saw my other friend walking out...and the lesson has ended..i dunno why but i super super irritated and upset with myself over missing that ONE LECTURE ONLY!! and dat day the mood really super bad and keep nagging and nagging... =( but today i turn up but all my friends nv turn up..i am all alone... but got others too la...nvm abt that
the worst is the tutorial up next at 11 am...wah..got scolded by the lecturer until i really wanna CRY lei!! cos all my grp members are all my friends daph not feeling well not coming, cyn will be late, andy went for make up lesson & will be late, kelvin also late..den only left me to face the lecturer and she demand me to give her the marking criteria for the ICA presentation now! she say , "i say now means now!" and i told her my friends are on the way already as the paper it is with them ..and she say, "i want it now!! u now go photocopy it now and give it to me now!!!" she is super fierce tone lo..i super scare.. =( i dare not say back and i just walk off from the class and wait for my friends outside..i dare not even to enter the class cos go in sure going to get BUTTER (scolded) by her de... first time i met a lecturer like dat so demanding and fierce...i really almost cry out becos of that lecturer!! i dun like it when pple raised their voice to me and i try not to talk to them next time le... even a slight voice is raised..i very sensitive de...i will think the lecturer dont like me.. (think like a kid hor?)
even that time in hospital , Sister talked very sacarstically to me cos over something i said to her..den is like i have to apologised so many times lo...den again almost cry out again...
i think i like to cry alot ..dunno why also..too much tears gland..but sometimes i try to control ...ever since 9yrs ago my grandma passed away...i dared not cried, cos b4 she passed away she tell us not to cry but smile when sending her the last journey...but i think i controlled it too much den now really cant controlled den always cry...my grandpa passed away this yr i cried badly...i feel like myself as a nurse i cant do much ! but see him suffer...i felt really bad in me...
and also during dat period of time i cant go his house and i really miss him, i cried at home too...
=(
and today my neck rashes getting bad to worse...due to allergic to certain metal/ silver...
i dun wanna take the necklace down...but how...i dunno lei..any other ways without taking the necklace down can still improve my rashes condition?
pls take care of urself and be happy...i will learn to pick myself up...
i dun dare to tell u personally , i dunno whether u will read this entry? but nvm..i dun need u to noe that i am telling u all dis but i just praying in my heart that u are well and happy =)
i am sorry to cause u so much problem...
mayb one day i will let go..but till now i still haven...
perhaps nv will i ...i dunno how to face it bravely yet...
but i dare not tell u anymore..
worry it will bring u more trouble and and u having to worry abt me..
i not trying to blog here to tell u things..i dunno u got read anot? but i dare not confide to anyone...
anyway..i hope anyone who wants to help me pls dun interfere with or try to help me with how to deal with it...and also don't find him to tell him things to hurt him pls...
though he may seem to be very strong but at times pple have the weakness side....
PLS DONT EVER HARM /HURT HIM! NEVER EVER! if anyone ever try to do it..i will nv trust anyone anymore...i dont want to hurt him...he is still precious to mi... pls forgive me...
more abt my day today...
today i wake up super early!!! remind my friends to wake me up..call me to remind me...haha
but thanks ah...i woke up myself ..but yet still very sleepy...yawning!!
i really so upset 2 weeks ago on this same thurs that i woke up past 9 plus !! i got so upset with myself for reminding others that lesson is at 9 while i tot was at 11 and i still think 9 am onli can still slp..until i saw my friends msg that ask me go sch first cos she will be late , she send that msg at 835am..i saw it at 9 20am!! OMG!! i quickly jumped out of my bed and rushed and rushed get ready and set off to sch...but to realise i reach the gate of the sch along the way i saw my other friend walking out...and the lesson has ended..i dunno why but i super super irritated and upset with myself over missing that ONE LECTURE ONLY!! and dat day the mood really super bad and keep nagging and nagging... =( but today i turn up but all my friends nv turn up..i am all alone... but got others too la...nvm abt that
the worst is the tutorial up next at 11 am...wah..got scolded by the lecturer until i really wanna CRY lei!! cos all my grp members are all my friends daph not feeling well not coming, cyn will be late, andy went for make up lesson & will be late, kelvin also late..den only left me to face the lecturer and she demand me to give her the marking criteria for the ICA presentation now! she say , "i say now means now!" and i told her my friends are on the way already as the paper it is with them ..and she say, "i want it now!! u now go photocopy it now and give it to me now!!!" she is super fierce tone lo..i super scare.. =( i dare not say back and i just walk off from the class and wait for my friends outside..i dare not even to enter the class cos go in sure going to get BUTTER (scolded) by her de... first time i met a lecturer like dat so demanding and fierce...i really almost cry out becos of that lecturer!! i dun like it when pple raised their voice to me and i try not to talk to them next time le... even a slight voice is raised..i very sensitive de...i will think the lecturer dont like me.. (think like a kid hor?)
even that time in hospital , Sister talked very sacarstically to me cos over something i said to her..den is like i have to apologised so many times lo...den again almost cry out again...
i think i like to cry alot ..dunno why also..too much tears gland..but sometimes i try to control ...ever since 9yrs ago my grandma passed away...i dared not cried, cos b4 she passed away she tell us not to cry but smile when sending her the last journey...but i think i controlled it too much den now really cant controlled den always cry...my grandpa passed away this yr i cried badly...i feel like myself as a nurse i cant do much ! but see him suffer...i felt really bad in me...
and also during dat period of time i cant go his house and i really miss him, i cried at home too...
=(
and today my neck rashes getting bad to worse...due to allergic to certain metal/ silver...
i dun wanna take the necklace down...but how...i dunno lei..any other ways without taking the necklace down can still improve my rashes condition?
pls take care of urself and be happy...i will learn to pick myself up...
i dun dare to tell u personally , i dunno whether u will read this entry? but nvm..i dun need u to noe that i am telling u all dis but i just praying in my heart that u are well and happy =)
& I hijacked a rainbow @ 11:47 AM